To whom it may concern
Dear Sir,
many thanks for your brief memo. I would just like to point out a couple of things; you know, to get them off my chest so to speak.
You have a product and not a brand. Selling that product, and selling as much of that product as possible, does not make the product a brand. It makes it a commodity. Selling the commodity isn’t a brand either, it’s a business requirement and one, which I’m sure your business angel, venture capital and investors are very keen to see implemented as soon as possible.
The brand we proposed was based on the people who should be buying it. These people, it would appear, do not match up with the people that you would wish to have buy your product. As I mentioned in our meeting, you are wrong because these people will not buy your product (because they do not exist) which does suggest that you do not wish to associate yourself with the people we put forward. What you call riff-raff we call paying customers.
Which means that the brand we need to create is about you and not about anything else. So, I’d just like to clarify that point before we move forward. Are you asking us to develop a brand for you yourself? Could you kindly confirm that we need to develop something consistent with the general taste of your wife and family and that will have your former colleagues and employers nodding their heads with general appreciation?
If this is the case then I would just like to take this opportunity to wish you well with your undertaking as well as future negotiations with the people who finance your business, for we must, alas, part ways.
Yours, with the warmest regards,
The Kaiser,
Director of Black Operatives
p.s. We’re launching the brand anyway.
If you think that others might been interested in this would you be so kind as to Stumble it?
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Rob @ Cynic
I didn’t realise the Black Op’s worked with Coke
May 6th, 2008
The Kaiser
You really are trying to loose all your clients aren’t you Rob?
May 6th, 2008
Tim Keil
did i miss something here? wtf is going on here?
May 6th, 2008
The Kaiser
This is what we at The Black Operatives Department call customer care Tim.
May 6th, 2008
Seb
Cheerio pussycat.
I like it when you write stuff like that.
It’s entertaining.
There is a real charming style to it.
Though it’s insulting.
Charming insults.
I like that.
By the way, hello Rob.
You should start phase 3.
Phase 1 and 2 obviously weren’t working.
Maybe wear a shirt with a “I hope Pepsi will fuck Coke forever somewhen” print for the next meeting.
Maybe that’ll do it.
May 8th, 2008
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